Have you ever had big dreams?
Have you ever had ambition and drive and huge desires and wanted to achieve things in life you felt were insanely tough and with the right support, you could achieve them?
Have you ever wanted to right your wrongs? Dedicate yourself to something that would make you better? Perhaps make your meaningful relationships better?
Hell…have you ever just wanted to feel that much better about life and all things in it and just feel like you can’t?
I know I sure have.
A true story: In 2012, I had been working in a hospital as an anesthesia tech. I had been in the hospital for 6 years. I started as a patient transporter. From there I became an equipment tech in Labor & Delivery (and what an experience that was). Finally, I ended up in the O.R. as anesthesia tech which was probably one of the most fun and exciting jobs I had ever had.
My goal was, at the time, to go to school for nursing and get a well-respected career. While in the process, getting my feet more than wet in the actual setting I had planned to work in.
If I’m to be honest with you, sure, it seemed like the “perfect” thing…but it was truly unfulfilling.
Heck, I remember being in clinical and all I could do is think about the gym. I knew I wanted to be in the gym as much as possible and if I could achieve a successful career as a personal trainer, it would be worth it…
But I was fearful.
Fearful of not committing to the process since I had switched majors like 5 times and been to like 4 different schools. Fearful that I wouldn’t be the best at my craft. Fearful I would be wasting my time.
I’m sure I could go on and on but fear crippled me. Fear literally was telling me I wouldn’t be good enough and I couldn’t do what I wanted to do. Fear told me I needed to follow the easy, more secure route, and I would be happy with that.
…boy was Fear wrong.
The funny thing about feelings is the fact that they come and go yet we let them control our every action and behavior.
And if we’re really to be honest, the most controlling emotion we all deal with is Motivation.
Motivation is literally the person who you think will give you a handout every time you ask because you feel the need to rely on them rather than yourself and fails every time to deliver.
The most ironic part of this relationship is the people who claim to be the most independent and mature rely on Motivation that much more.
It’s time to call a spade a spade. Motivation is just no good for you. Motivation is fickle, unreliable, and not a true friend to you and your success in anything you do.
Sure, Motivation *may* help jump start the process of wanting to do something more but Motivation is no better than an MC at a crap club that you had to walk in hammered to to begin with just to have a little fun.
At the end of the day, Motivation is going to fail you every single time, if we’re to be very honest.
In a post I made on Facebook a couple days ago, I ask “Barring ‘price’ as a reason, what has stopped you from hiring a coach (even when you’ve admitted to yourself you need one)”?
And the longest thread and the most overarching answers was “fear to fail” and “finding the motivation”.
This is a resounding theme for many, many people.
Those two friends….the ones you rely on more than you think…yea, I’m talking about Fear and Motivation…it’s time to let them go.
They are holding you back from some of the greatest changes in your life.
Everyone loves saying “my best days are ahead of me” and we share #fitspo meme’s…but all of that is a facade because if you truly believed it, you wouldn’t be living life attached to Fear and Motivation.
Those two asshats have to go.
So many of you, especially if you’re reading this, want to make changes to your physique and fitness and eating.
And if you’ve been following me long enough, you know I will not sell you on nonsense and I will keep it real with you.
It’s not easy but damn is it worth it.
That said, it’s going to take your desires and wants needing to match up with your action.
I have written several posts (HERE and HERE and HERE and HERE) on how to set up your diet, how to train, and so on but none of that matters if you are not applying it.
My recommendations to you are these:
#1: When you feel unmotivated to train and or track…DO IT ANYWAY. Stop with this “I can’t” nonsense. If you are 30, 40, 50 years old…it’s time to be an adult. I can’t even be “sorry” about it. Can only train 2 days/week? Do it. Don’t feel like tracking your meal using an app on your phone which you use anyway as you sit on Facebook and Instagram? Do it. Be a problem solver; not a problem seeker.
#2: Start small and work your way up. You don’t need anything elaborate. Again, just start by tracking your calories and lifting weights (heck use machines at first and learn some of the movements) 2-3x/week. Prioritize. Use your calendar. You wouldn’t miss a doctors appointment if it was in your schedule. You wouldn’t miss an appointment with the tax man if it was in your calendar. Well your gym time should be just as important. This is your health we are talking about.
#3: Stop trying to look like someone who doesn’t freaking exist. A lot of the people you see online probably do look great…just not THAT great. Photoshop is real. And I hate to say it, but even your favorite “natty” guy/girl is probably on something…because it’s unspoken. So that said…be the best YOU can be.
#4: Stop giving yourself some arbitrary timeline for “fat loss” to happen. You cannot predict how fast you will lose your fat because guess what? Life happens and it doesn’t just go down week after week after week. I hate to say it but…if your are 30…40…50 years old…thats 30…40…50 years are habits learned that have to be unlearned…but the sooner your get a grip of it, the better you can make the changes you wish to work for. There is no actual end goal…just a bunch of different stops along the journey.
And that’s all I have for you right now. If you want to make your body and mind better, it’s going to take work. There is no pill…no supplement…no wrap…no tea…no anything that will replace the knowledge of learning to track your calories/macros, lifting weights, and making better choices in your life.
But first…Motivation and Fear….you gotta go.
We ain’t got time for you.
Great story and wonderful post man!
Thanks bro! much appreciated!